Egotistical service to your creative being
Give and you shall receive. This is a familiar concept as most of us grew up learning that it is better to give than to receive - Some call this principle service. Yet what we didn’t often hear is that service, the egoless act of giving - must first originate in giving to yourself. If you are well and are taking care of your needs – your need to explore, to laugh, to enjoy – to feel good – giving to others is easy.
As I write this I am sitting on an airplane. As we prepare to take off, the airline directs us on the safety guidelines – and one of them fits perfectly with what I am trying to clarify about giving value. It instructs; “in the event of loss of cabin pressure oxygen masks will drop down… – place the mask over your own face and breathe in deeply before attempting to help others.”
We all say yes, of course, this makes perfect sense. If I do not care for myself first – I will not be able to help others. We do not judge this as selfish, or egotistical – instead, we see it as the practical and wise action allowing us to then have the energy and life to help others.
So how is it that we have inherited the crazy idea that to be selfless allows us to serve others? That to devalue our ego makes us more loving and present people? Or that to care for our self, putting personal needs and boundaries first, means we are selfish? Is that true? Can a starving man or woman afford to feed others while not feeding her/himself?
As a physical being with a clear mortality – taking care of our needs is always the first value of our body - as this act very simply ensures our survival.
Our body is not altruistic - it is practical. You ask your body if it can play the game of altruistic attitudes and morally correct behaviors of selfless giving and it will answer you – only if I am well fed, warm, safe and full of energy! In other words – we can give only when the value of our life is first in our attention and our basic needs are met.
From the perspective of our body – who deeply and inherently values being alive – self-care, self-service is its basis for survival. Our body inherently values others – as an act of survival, but also as an act of pleasure, connection, & creativity. We don’t have to “work” on giving to others – our body naturally responds to its surroundings.
When we reroute our beliefs and morals to place ourselves first and at the center of our life-giving incredible value to ourselves and our experience by honoring and valuing our needs, emotions, wishes, fears and desires – our expression naturally includes others – and our experience shifts from the fear and pressure of pleasing others to the peace of being in touch and in tune with our experience, our surroundings and acting accordingly.
Once we deeply value and appreciate ourselves, in essence when we claim our inner egoist - we can give to our self while also fulfilling our own basic desire to contribute. It is imperative that we honor our deepest dreams and wishes to contribute, and translate these dreams into actions – and I believe if those actions –stem first from honoring our own needs, curiosity, and intentions – then the contribution is a natural result.
Be egotistical enough to claim and know that your needs and heart already involve others – shift your focus back to yourself and dare to explore what YOU want - build the experience that allows you the greatest well-being, interest, and exploration for YOU! The rest will follow.
Releasing shame in the creative process IN SUMMARY
- Service, the act of giving, originates first in giving to yourself. We can give only when the value of our life is first in our attention.
- Our body is not altruistic but practical. Taking care of our basic needs is always the first value of our body. Am I well fed, warm, safe and full of energy?
- When you deeply value and appreciate yourself, you give to yourself while also fulfilling your natural desire to contribute.
4. If our bodies are well and allowed to move, breathe and express itself as it is in each moment, then our need to pretend and hide and foster shame stops.
And remember –
You are the Creator – when you embody your creativity – you manifest your dreams!
NOW JOIN US IN THE COLLECTIVE
The place where we talk it out as a community – get involved, share your truth, your struggles, thoughts, and wins!
COMMENT AND GET INVOLVED BELOW!
Creative D.R.I.V.E. in ACTION
Weekly implementation to deepen your practice! Simply do yourself a favor and while working with these questions – STAY PHYSICAL!
- Take a sheet of paper: make a list answering this question: what do I love that I can make into acts of self-care? – make them acts specifically related to your body and self-enjoyment – I can take a bath, I can allow breaks to move and stretch, I love that tea – I enjoy walks, I love to listen to music and daydream, I love a midweek romance movie – these are not things that are “good for you” – they are simply acts which you love, which feel good, which nurture you and allow you to self -care and enjoy!
- Do one each day!