– Rejection and disappointment in the Creative Process –
Phew! Last week we talked about cycles of pain. Now that you know what’s happening within our body, how we are holding onto pain and repeating or reacting to pain, let’s start to train ways to get you out of there!
Specifically, let’s begin to implement the antidote for reaction and retreat in response to pain and fear of pain, which is… connection! As you experience and know from your life, retreating into the pain body is lonely. Today we will talk and train about creating anchors in your life to purposefully connect with when in pain.
For me, just having these anchors in my life makes it so much easier to deal with my fears and disappointments during the creative process, creating meaningful connection instead of isolation.
One of the quickest ways to get out of the habitual retreat and protect response toward pain and disappointment is to get involved with others. For many of us, when we are internally retreating, contracted away from life and holding onto pain, shaming ourselves about our sadness – reaching out, and connecting with others is the last thing we want to do. Once our negative self-image is unleashed, it becomes scary and as if impossibly difficult to get involved with other people. Brene Brown talks extensively about the power of connection, of vulnerability to shift us into what she calls wholehearted living. When we involve others, we automatically start to implement connection; we get the benefits of community and communication, support, empathy and the experience that we are not alone.
Sounds all good right? So why do we avoid connection? Especially when we need it the most, in times of fear, pain, shame, and loneliness? Involving our self, our desires, dreams, insecurities, embarrassments with others offers connection but also possible conflict.
Many of us get stuck in our creativity and stop when it comes to implementing because of our fear of conflict. We imagine how others will respond to us and to our project, and we fear the possible fear, pain, and conflict we might experience because of it. As well, the presence of possible conflict is tied up in physical patterns of contracting around fear and possible pain leading to expressions of defense instead of curiosity, the expression of fighting instead of flowing, the experience of power struggles, battles of ego and who is better, more right, – proving and battling to maintain our position and borders instead seeking connection.
Once again, our intention and desire for connection are misaligned by our often contrary physical expression patterns of effort, closure, holding back and or the flip side, pretense, pretending strength, becoming overly confident, controlling and dominating and losing touch with our feelings and others around us. Our experience becomes one of conflict instead of connection!
Connection is for our body the most natural state it knows. And involvement is the implementation of connection. We are “made for connection! Connection is the pleasure trip number 1 for our being Our body is intimately and constantly connected with reality. It is always in the now and involved with its surroundings. We would frankly be long dead if it wasn’t.
As physics understand more and more, we know that our being is not only connected with the now, but with our past and our future knowing practically no time. In fact, we are so connected that we are in fact each other, our surroundings, and all that is. For some of us, that thought is all but pleasurable! WHY?
Because in our day to day experience and held in our memories and repeated patterns of belief, feeling and physicality connection is often wired together with pain and fear, connection for many of us has come to mean conflict.
In your own experience, someone might not like you or your project and might say “no.” In the best possible scenario, you want to hear a “yes,” but when a “no” comes, how do you react?
Even when a “yes” comes, how do you react? Do you go internal, protect, calculate, mistrust and pretend or do you stay external, curious, involved and present with people?
In Today’s training, we will focus on how you can practice embodied states of confidence to shift the expressions of conflict and retreat – toward experiencing the connection that you are and purposefully creating embodied states of involvement.
Involvement pulls us out of our internal world and self-image, and into life. And involvement naturally gives us many bonuses creative ideas come from life, not from inside our mind alone. Involving ourselves with life and others allows us to open up to the biggest creator of them all Mama Earth and life itself.
Inspiration is the most natural result of involvement. And It’s physical “inspire” means “to breathe in.”
When we breathe life in, we gather to us all kinds of particles of everything and as we breathe out, we give back to life all kinds of particles of our deep self. I love this physical metaphor because, like most body metaphors, it gives us a clear and practical description of how inspiration, involvement and connection flow. It means getting involved with life – breathing it in and giving of ourselves in return.
Another natural outcome of involvement is community, and the involvement of others with us. When you get involved, it invites others to involve themselves with you, which means your project and your creativity gain an audience as well as peers. Involvement is the most natural guarantee for success! When we stop the isolation of our-self through involvement, there is simply no way that our creativity cannot be noticed. Plus, it just feels good!
And for those of you cringing a bit, just one more thing: involvement and connection does not mean having no boundaries! In fact, just think about it, every time you breathe in all those particles of life, your body is full of very clear and effective boundaries. It fights bacteria, disease, contaminants of every kind. It goes in clear conflict with that which does not serve its health, safety, energy and well- being. If we use this physical action as a metaphor connecting and involvement with life and others goes hand in hand with expressing healthy boundaries and the choice to “connect” with those whom we enjoy, feel good around, serve our aims, allow us to thrive, share, and gain energy with.
NOW JOIN US IN THE COLLECTIVE
The place where we talk it out as a community – get involved, share your truth, your struggles, thoughts, and wins!
Answer these questions to yourself and comment your answers below!
1. What are your habitual ways of dealing with conflict? Now reach out and connect with 3 people!
2. How did the physical training shift your experience of conflict and allow you to connect? How do you plan on implementing this training into your daily life?
COMMENT AND GET INVOLVED BELOW!
Creative D.R.I.V.E. in ACTION
Weekly implementation to deepen your practice! Simply do yourself a favor and while working with these questions – STAY PHYSICAL!
1. What did you experience and learn from your body about your reaction to conflict? Write down and explore what you heard, saw, experience, and do when afraid of connection. Is this how you wish to be? Explore and train moving into involvement and confidence by relaxing the area in your body you chose as your anchor each time you are involved in any way with people – see how it changes your experience!
2. Choose 1 person you want to create a connection with and get involved AND reach out to them this week!